Catwoman (Pitof, 2004) Review

Hey, I haven't done a terrible film in a while (latest one was Street Fighter and I concluded that that was a guilty pleasure) so how about a film that is just..just awful. No redeeming qualities, that sort of thing. Son of the Mask still takes my place for the worst film ever made but there are those that are almost just as bad. Is Catwoman truly that awful or am I just hyping it...no, it's bad but here's why.

When a shy, sensitive graphic artist called Patience Phillips (Halle Berry) discovers that the giant organisation that woks for has sinister side that Patience stumbles upon. After a run in with some henchmen, Patience is supposedly drowned in the river. However, she survives but the last night was blank but finds that her confidence and agility has increased leading her take up the mantle of Catwoman and use her new skills to expose the evil corporation's intent. Meanwhile, Patience's new boyfriend, Tom Lone (Benjamin Bratt), is a cop who is trying to find the true identity of Catwoman.

For me, the elephant in the room is the costume they went with. Good God, it's terrible. She looks like a trashy whore! Sure, Catwoman's outfits have always been a bit sexualised but this...this is taking it to the extreme. Even the character is on the extremes. Halle Berry tries to make it work but...it doesn't. To begin with she is too shy and then the jump in character just seems cliche and lazy. That and the only connection between Catwoman and the comics is the name. There's no Selina Kyle here so it's not like this is some kind of prequel. In fact, I'm not even sure this is supposed to be based on the comics. I surmise that this is just a film they made that just happened to share a name with the comics.

The writing is awful. The plot is stupid and inconsistent with a concept of invincible make-up that seems to change how powerful it is MID-SCENE! Also the subplot about Patience's boyfriend is terrible too. There is no suspense since A) We already know who Catwoman is and B) It's not exactly a hard mystery. It shouldn't take the length of a film to work out the connection between Patience and Catwoman. The film also manages to sexist to both genders. One second they're conveying how stupid and ignorant men are (which, in this film, actualy doesn't surprise me) and the next, they're dressing up their 'supposed strong heroine" up in one of those sexy Halloween costumes (which I still question...).

Catwoman is a poorly written, poorly acted and inconsistent mess. The action is dull to watch and the film was just a chore to sit through. Normally I recommend some bad films like The Room and Street Fighter but this one that you should steer clear and just let be forgotten in time. Halle Berry tries but she goes down with the film unfortunately. I wish Tommy Wiseau was in every bad film...it would make them all bearable...

Verdict:
1.5/10
STEER CLEAR! This film is a travesty and an inconsistent mess!