Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Batman & Robin (Joel Schumacher, 1997) Review

Huh...I should have figured this would happen eventually. Ohhhh...RAAAAAAAAAAH!!! This one is just...oh maaan...if you've seen this film or at least heard of it then you should know what happens next. To think that a film series as fantastic as Batman contains a film that can be considered the worst film of all time by some people. This is a bad one, folks. It's hands down the worst Batman film but...let's just get this out of the way.

A new threat...err...threatens Gotham City, Mr. Freeze (Arnold Schwarzenegger). Freeze is going around stealing diamonds to, not only power his freeze suit, but also use them to freeze over Gotham so he and his wife (who is in cryogenic sleep with an incurable illness) can live...I guess...I dunno it was cliché and boring. During all this, the partnership between Batman (George Clooney) and Robin (Chris O'Donnell) begins to strain and is made much worse by the interference of a new villain, Poison Ivy (Uma Thurman) as they fight for her love (like she cars...heh). Lastly, Alfred's niece, Barbara (Alicia Silverstone), comes to stay with him at Wayne Manor but, when he Alfred (Michael Gough) gets a life-threatening disease, Barbara becomes the new crime-fighting hero, Batgirl.

The title is wrong, it just is. Batman & Robin seems to suggest either the origin of Robin (which was LAST TIME) or know...GETTING ALONG?! They hate each other in this film (and I wish Nightwing would have appeared) plus Batgirl's in it so...shouldn't it be Batman & Batgirl - Robin? That's not the only problem, oh no it's not, THE CASTING IS HORRIBLE. Mr. Freeze is supposed to be a tragic villain who is trying to get redemption...not a muscle-bound, Austrian, pun spewing guy with a big ice gun! What happened? This was after the Animated Series so Mr. Freeze had be reinvented to have his wife in cryogenic sleep so he was supposed to be a character that you feel sorry for, not get annoyed by. Mr. Freeze isn't the worst character here though since, to their credit, they did get the whole 'frozen wife' thing right and the scenes with her are actually pretty good. Bonus points to you, film! The worst is Poison Ivy. Oh dear God. Uma Thurman is an OSCAR NOMINATED ACTRESS. After watching this, I wouldn't have known. Uma Thurman does a horrendous job of acting. She's terrible, just terrible. One of the problems is the same problem as the Riddler from Batman Forever...their outfit. Poison Ivy and Riddler share this, they both appear for the first time in an outfit that suits them and is how they look in the comics...then they are changed to a terrible outfit that makes them look stupid. George Clooney is a great Bruce Wayne but a bad Batman because he doesn't change them. His Batman is the exact same as Bruce Wayne. Robin is ruined and is now a whiny kid for won't shut up!

This film still has many problems. What they did to Bane ins unforgivable. He is supposed to be a elite strategist as well as being very strong. Now...he's Ivy's henchmen whose dialogue consists of  "RAAGH!". least Christopher Nolan is doing him justice. The effects are terrible. No no, not the CGI...the props. The rubber icicles wobble for pete's sake! Don't even get me started on the writing...but you have so i'm going to talk about it. The writing is worse then the casting (how were they to know an Oscar nominee was going to put NO effort into the role). This film features great films such as "Chicks dig the car" (No), "I'll cancel the pizzas" (Really?) and "This is why Superman works alone" (No comment). Did I mention these lines were the first ones said in the film? There's more...lot's more. Oh man, please stop. There are also lots stupid moments such as the opening chase, the bat credit card (it didn't happen, I can assure you) and Mr. Freeze making his henchmen sing...whah?

Batman & Robin is infamous for being a bad film. I can see why it's a bad film but there are some redeeming factors such as Mr. Freeze's wife, Clooney's Bruce Wayne and the introduction of Batgirl who isn't a bad character. It's watchable and is nowhere near the worst film ever, not even the worst comic book film ever. It has aged surprisingly well because of what it is and should not be taken seriously. Ah, now that's out of the way we can enjoy an excellent Batman film tomorrow. Why? Because this film bombed and killed the franchise which required a reboot...and we got one in the form of Christopher Nolan's Batman Begins. I'm so excited to review a good film! Yeah!

The worst Batman film ever. The good bits are drowned in a sea of bad bits.

Did anyone else notice the voice actor for the Riddler in the animated series was the mad professor in this? Weird, isn't it.

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